Mason Keane Yates born in Vancouver Washington on
August 30th 2014 at Peace Health Southwest Hospital.
I was the one who felt like it was time to start our
family. Sterling didn’t feel that way just yet, he was focused on school at the
time. So I put it out of my mind.
A couple weeks later while at the movies with some
good friends Sterling starts to ask me about my older sister’s son and how old
he was and all that. I thought it was kind of weird that he would be asking me
those things especially during the previews of a movie.
Finally I ask why he was asking me those questions,
and just as the movie was about to start he tells me that he feels like it’s
time to start trying to have a baby.
First of all I just barely accepted that we were
going to wait a while to have kids. Second, how could he drop such a huge bomb
on me before a 2 hour movie? I had so many questions and things I wanted to
say. After the movie we did talk and decided to start trying.
I was so excited to start trying. I knew I would get
pregnant right away because how hard could it be? All you have to do is have
sex right? Wrong! After realizing it would take a couple months to get off
birth control I was also on other meds I wanted to stop.
Once my body was off all the meds I thought we would
be good to go. All in all it took about 7 months to get pregnant. 7 months is
not long at all, I know of people who it took years to get pregnant. When I was
going through it, it felt like much longer. So many negative tests.
It was sad how fast I felt like I would never get
pregnant, and how fast I doubted if we should have a family at all. So many
emotions and I didn’t even know how it was affecting Sterling.
I remember the morning I took the test that was
positive. It tells you to wait 2 minutes for results but the second I did my
business on it I saw a bright blue plus sign. I still waited the 2 minutes and
probably more. I remember feeling so many things all at once. Relief,
excitement, doubt, fear, but most of all love. Love towards the little person
inside of me, love for Sterling and for what an amazing father he would be and
is. Most of all love for my Father in Heaven for trusting me enough with one of
his own.
My pregnancy was tough…. By that I just mean it was
so different from what I thought it would be. I had no serious complications, everything
went smoothly. It was just very tiring and emotional and hot. I didn’t feel
that glow everyone talks about, I just felt huge and hungry and tired.
The first time I felt Mason kick was when things got
real for me. That’s when I really felt pregnant. That’s also when I realized I
had a human being that I was solely responsible for growing inside me. It’s
crazy that it took Mason moving for me to realize that.
August couldn’t have come any sooner. I was feeling
so done but knew Mason still had more growing to do. My original due date was
August 29th, so only a day late isn’t bad at all.
During my pregnancy I experienced Braxton Hicks
which every women experiences sometime during her pregnancy. Sometimes I would
think they were contractions and always wonder if I would ever know the
difference. People told me that I would defiantly know the difference and they
were right.
I started labor at home around 2am of the 29th.
I remember waking up Sterling, I was so freaked out I didn’t know what to do.
The doctors told me not to come in until my contractions were 5 minutes apart
lasting a minute for an hour. The contractions themselves weren’t so bad
because I was in the early stages of them but I definitely couldn’t sleep. The
length and time of each one were so random and crazy I didn’t know if they were
ever going to become regular.
Finally around 8am I felt like they were steady
enough to go in. So we, my mom younger sister and Sterling and I all got into
my mom’s van and headed to the hospital. I told my mom that I wanted to get
there but with no speeding tickets.
We arrived at the hospital around 8:15am safe and
sound and with no tickets. Once I check in they took me to the back to see how much
I was dilated. The nurse said I was at a 5 and that things will be moving
along. They brought me to my room and told me to get comfortable, which I
thought was weird because I was in labor, I was pretty sure nothing would make
me comfortable but to have my baby.
My contractions started to become steady and
intense. I tried soaking in a bath which helped for a bit but then became
awkward. I tried sitting in a rocking chair, that didn’t really do anything.
Then they brought me an exercise ball which was different and kind of helped.
The hours seemed to stretch on forever, but every
time I looked at the clock it was getting later in the day.
Every couple hours my doctor would come in to see if
I had dilated any. 4 or 5 hours since getting to the hospital I was at a 6, and
every time they came in to check they kept telling me that it would be any
minute now. The first 8 hours I totally
believed them, what a fool.
After about 10 hours a labor I knew I had had it and
needed anything to relieve my contractions.
From the very start I wanted to try to have a
natural child birth but was in no way opposed to getting an epidural. I told
myself that if I got to a certain point I would ask for one.
My nurse knew I wanted to have a natural child birth
so whenever I would mention getting an epidural she kept telling me how strong
I was and how I didn’t need one and that my baby would be here any minute.
I guess I needed to emphasize that I was in no way
opposed to getting an epidural and how if I ask for one I REALLY WANT ONE.
Anyway, once my nurse was done with her shift I got someone new.
Once I met my new nurse she asked if there was
anything I needed or wanted I told her that besides either having my baby right
this second or something to eat (which I couldn’t until I delivered) All I
wanted was ANYTHING to make my contractions stop.
My nurse finally went a got someone to get me the
epidural after going through all the risks and making sure it was what I really
wanted.
At this point I was about 12 hours into labor and I
was waiting for the anesthesiologist. Knowing that someone was coming I felt
like I could relax and know I wouldn’t be in anymore pain. Then out of the blue
on my way from the bathroom my water brakes. Out of everything I had felt
during my pregnancy that was one of the weirdest.
The epidural didn’t hurt at all. I didn’t notice
anything. After a couple minutes the medicine starting taking effect. The
contractions there after were so much easier to manage, it was a total 360. All
I felt was pressure in my belly.
Around 14 hours of labor my doctor said I was
dilated enough to start pushing.
FINALLY!!
The epidural made things really tricky. I needed the
help of my mom and Sterling. My nurse and mom had my legs and Sterling was
behind me pushing my back to help me push.
My last nurse was such a doll. She had so many
encouraging words and just a way about her that was so helpful.
2 hours of pushing nothing was happening. At that
point my doctor came back in to see how things were going. She saw there was
not much progress. She told me that if things don’t change we will have to look
into having a C- Section.
When she said those words all I could do was nod and
tell her okay until she left. Once she and my nurse left the room I lost it.
You always hear of other people getting C-Sections, you never imagine it
happening to you. This was definitely not
the way things were supposed to happen, especially with my first baby. I felt
so scared. Scared for myself and the little person inside of me. Why wasn’t he
coming out? Was I not strong enough?
Another 2 hours of pushing there was still no
progression. My doctor came back in and checked things out and watched me push
a couple times, during which she told me to stop and noticed I had developed an
infection due to pushing for so long. Plus Mason still wasn’t progressing any.
At this point my doctor told me that we didn’t have
a choice but to go forward with the C- Section. As they took me to the
operating room so many thoughts ran through my mind. I kept praying that Mason
would be okay and that I would be okay and that Sterling was and would be okay.
I’m not totally sure if it would be considered
blacking out or passing out but there are definitely gaps in my memory, either
because of pure exhaustion or fear or both.
Here is what I remember.
The room was very bright and so very cold. There
were a lot more people than I thought would be there. I kept feeling like I
just wanted to leave and go home. I couldn’t stop shaking for whatever reason.
I wanted Sterling by my side. I wanted Mason to be okay.
Sterling came in the room once I was on the table
and there was a curtain between my doctors and me. When Sterling got to me I remember feeling
his cheek to mine and he kept telling me that I could do this and that
everything was going to be okay.
As much as I wanted to tell Sterling that I was so
glad he was with me I couldn’t. I remember not being able to say anything. I
physically couldn’t speak, and not just to Sterling but to anyone. The anesthesiologist
kept asking me if I was okay and kept making sure I couldn’t feel anything. At
that moment I just wanted a blanket and to not have my arms spread out on two
boards.
Of course I didn’t feel my doctors cut into me but I
did feel a lot of tugging, pulling and pushing. What I did feel or thought I
felt was the exact moment they pulled Mason out of me. You get used to the
weight of the baby inside you and the moment he was out I definitely
felt a difference.
Once Mason was out Sterling went over to see him. I
remember not hearing anything from Mason and no one was telling me anything. I
needed to hear my baby cry. I wanted to scream and
ask what was going on but physically couldn’t.
Finally I heard him cry!!
They had to take Mason to the NICU to get him clean
and make sure he was healthy. Sterling came to me and asked if I wanted him to
stay with me or go with Mason. He sounded so torn on what to do. I wanted him
to go with Mason. I would be okay. I had a team working on getting me back
together.
I remember waking up still on the operating table
and feeling this burning hotness on my cheek, then I heard Sterling say it was
Mason and that he was okay. I was only able to feel him then. I couldn’t turn
and see him.
The next time I woke up I was in a small recovery
room with a nurse and my mom. The nurse in there was pushing on my stomach to
get all the extra fluid out and I remember sitting straight up and physically
pushing her away because what she was doing was hurting me beyond words. I’m
pretty sure that was why I woke up in the first place.
When I finally got back to my original room it was
around 6am. Mason was brought in and we officially met. He was so tiny and red
and perfect. He was the most precious thing I had ever seen.
